The Mirror

I've been thinking about the clients I enjoy working with the most, as they all come with some sort of issue that’s getting in the way of living life to the full.

But so often the thing they bring isn’t the problem, it’s simply the way it’s manifesting for them, at that time. 

For example, a client who’s been hurt as a child may be the adult perfectionist, trying to make everything just so, to avoid being hurt again, the unconscious doing exactly what it’s designed to do to keep them ‘safe’.

Gabor Mate who writes so well about trauma in various forms asks the question,

Is my response…..

A, a normal response to an abnormal situation?    or

B, an abnormal response to a normal situation?

If the answer is A then, please thank your unconscious for doing a great job of protection, though in some cases we might ask it to dial back a little.

If the answer is B then we have some work to do, very often based on meaning we took about situations back in our childhood, where we were only limited by our maturity and ability to make sense of a situation, and yet it is so well learned that it can become our adult default position, without us even being aware of its roots, leading us to say to ourselves, why did I react that way? that isn’t really me at all!

So back to the clients I enjoy working with the most…. They are the ones who are prepared to look at the root of the problem with some help and support and begin to understand that it’s the meaning they are giving those moments based on an outdated understanding of their world and who then become excited about how things could be different. That’s the first step to making a difference…. To be the person they’d like to see looking back at them in the mirror.